Hot New Item

Power of Sales Magnetism



Selling Is Changing – Are YOU?
+ Add to Cart

Free Monthly Newsletter

Register Now

Upcoming Seminars

Richmond Area
How To Plan 2009 In 20 Minutes…And On One Sheet Of Paper
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Seminar Registration

Raleigh Area

Articles on selling, marketing and branding, success, motivation, sales management, communication, prospecting, relationship building, and more.
Read more articles.

We welcome you to reprint these articles in your newsletter.

Dig Deep: Lessons From Intensive Care

By Will Turner

Do you have what it takes to dig down deep when you’ve got the odds stacked against you and you’re tired, sick or just plain worn out? I’d like to share a story with you.

My mother went into the hospital seven weeks ago. She was on the verge of dying. In fact, the ambulance redirected her to a different hospital en route because her vitals were so low that they didn’t think she could make it the extra five minutes to the original destination. Later, the doctors confirmed that she would have likely died within hours had she not made it into the hospital when she did.

My Mom had several health issues, but the one that was causing the life and death crisis was a stomach ulcer that had eaten completely through her stomach. The doctor advised me that it’s a catastrophic condition that would jeopardize the life of a young healthy man, much less a 74 year old grandmother in questionable health.

My Mom’s hospital stay continued after the initial emergency surgery due to complications including the fact that her stomach was not healing properly, which required a second surgery. Days stretched into weeks as her body was tired and struggling to survive.

To further complicate matters, her bedridden status had weakened her and she was having trouble with her lungs. They were filling up with mucus and water as pneumonia set in. She remained in critical condition in intensive care.

The pulmonary specialist called and said that she would have to go back on a ventilator, which was very serious. In her condition, the chances of coming off the ventilator were remote – less than 25%. But if we decided not to put her on the ventilator, she would probably die within a day or two. Of course that news was presented to me and my siblings with another stark reality – it may be more emotionally difficult for us to pull her off the ventilator later if she did not show any improvement.

It was a gut-wrenching time for all of us as we faced the clear understanding that Mom was in a fight for her life and our decision had enormous implications. We decided that we weren’t ready to give up on Mom even though the odds were stacked against her. We told the doctor to put her on the ventilator.

Over the next several days, her breathing was stabilizing but her spirits were plummeting. Of course, she couldn’t talk with the ventilator running down her throat, but she was alert to respond to you and even write notes on a pad to communicate.

At one point when I was talking to her, she wrote the words “I’m scared” on the pad. Her eyes had already communicated her sentiments. She was tired, afraid and worn down from all the pain. She was ready to give up.

At every juncture when I told her to “Hang in there. You can fight this,” I got a weary look of resignation and a shake of her head no.
In the meantime, we got the news that the latest tests indicated that her stomach had finally healed. The irony was thick. She was now recovered from her surgeries, but she was too weak to breathe on her own because her long healing process had resulted in other complications.

The doctors were not optimistic and kept repeating that we would have to take it day by day. We knew that time was critical. She would either make a turn for the better or a turn for the worse and the latter would probably kill her.

We all did that we could because we knew it was now or never. I stood by her bedside for hours and made her look at me. I told her that she had to “dig deep.” I told her that she had been through too much and she had made too much progress with her stomach to give up now. I used every arsenal in my motivation toolkit that I could think of and I remained relentless. My siblings did the same but ultimately we knew it was going to be up to her and how strong her will to live was.

It was time to pull out all the stops – the grandchildren. I called my daughter, a freshman at Virginia Tech, and gave her an update. I told her that I needed her to e-mail me a letter to Grandma. I wanted her to give Mom another reason to fight. Since my mother loves nothing more in this world than her grandchildren, she needed to hear from them. The others could visit her in the hospital and they did. Every visit helped.

I wasn’t sure what my daughter would write, but I knew any communication would be good. Here’s an excerpt of what she sent me:
“..if nothing else the past month has only reinforced how much I care about her and what a blessing family is. I believe she is the rock of our family. She keeps us grounded and helps us to appreciate one another. Grandma has been through so much in her lifetime and experienced so much pain and heartache, yet, she’s made it through it all; she’s come out a better and stronger person.

The attitude she has on life is something that is hard to come by, especially considering all that life as thrown at her. She is by far the most amazing person I have ever met and I only hope that I grow up to be half the woman she is.

It’s sad, but you don’t truly appreciate all that someone does for you or how much they mean to you until death comes knocking on their door. Having Grandma at my high school graduation meant the world to me, I only hope that she will find the inner strength to make it through this so she can be there when I graduate college.”

I rushed to the hospital and read it to Mom, fighting back my tears as I did. At the time, my sister and two of her grandsons were in the room with her. After I read my daughter’s note, I pressed Mom, “You need to look your grandsons in the eye and let them know you are going to fight this for them. They need you.” Did I mention that guilt is one of the items in my motivation toolkit?

She looked up, gazed in their eyes and moved her arms in a rapid back-and-forth motion like a boxer in a fighting match. We had made a breakthrough. The prayers and the support kept coming from family, friends and remote acquaintances. My sister had every church in the area including Mom in their prayer chains.

Earlier this week, the doctor gave us the news we had been hoping and praying for – Mom was going to be taken off the ventilator. The doctor seemed shocked by her turnaround. I told him what we had been doing the last couple of days and he asked if we could do that for all his patients.

Mom got out of ICU a couple of days later and started eating without a feeding tube for the first time in seven weeks. While she still has a long fight and lots of rehabilitation in front of her, the future is more promising. She’s anxious to get home and she has the will to fight.

Most things in my life seem trivial in comparison to what my mother and family have been through recently. But the overriding lesson that keeps slapping me in the face is that our will to fight, to not give up – even when things look bleak and we’re scared – is a powerful one. And even though we have to be willing to fight, we can rely on the strength of others to help us through our rough times. Sometimes, we need to dig deep and summon up everything we have inside. We have to keep the faith and fight whatever we’re facing one day at a time.